ky

Things I'm learning about this place.

1. It is beautiful. I actually think I fell in love with the landscape before I knew anything about this city. It's beautiful (so far) in an "I-can-actually-breathe-up-here" kind of way, which I've experienced only a handful of times during my 22 years in Texas. Fall is on the way and I'm anxiously anticipating my first snowy winter. So, wherever we go in life, I think I've decided that I'd like trees to be there. Stay tuned for a post on the Smokies, with which I will surely fall in love.

2. This is where God has called me. I hate admitting this, but my journey to Kentucky has been longer and more difficult than anyone anticipated. When I felt the Lord calling me this far from home, I froze. The thought of leaving my friends, family and most of what I mistakenly believe my identity depends on petrified me. But Keller has been good enough to let me get to Kentucky at my own pace, and God has been so gracious in reminding me that I will rarely be called to easy places. This hasn't exactly looked the way I planned, (a full-time job waiting for me when I got here, a perfectly wife-ready heart) but community and sanctification are so much sweeter.

3. Waiting is good. We are in several in-between seasons at the moment, which I'm usually horrible at. In between dating and marriage, in between a part-time job and a full-time job. In between homes. We are nomads in every sense, and the Lord is teaching me to press into that. Waiting to walk into covenant with someone is good in the same way advent is good and in the same way waiting to come face to face with Jesus is good. After all, I'm literally waiting to marry my favorite person in the world. There are far worse things to wait for, you guys. Like 5 million worse things.

4. It's transforming me. I've seen more of my heart in the last two weeks than in the last several years of college. Part of it's engagement, part of it's the community we've been placed in, but most of it is the fact that God has used this (seemingly) overwhelming amount of change to dig up the most rotted, tucked-away parts of my heart. My sin is the most bitter, but life found in the spirit is sweet beyond words.  Also, bold, Christian community is terrifying and so, so good. 

5. On a semi-unrelated note--wedding planning is easier when you decide it's for the people coming to your wedding. When I started thinking of it as a chance to celebrate the people we love most in the whole world, picking caterers and cake and confetti and garlands and music became much more fun. I'm finding that wedding details are as important as you decide they are. Who knew?

Anyway, love from ky.

-Katie 

Things eternal

If I thought about eternity more often, this whole post-grad thing would be stressing me out a lot less. After all, when you know Jesus, making plans for your life is a funny thing. For 22 years, I've gotten away with seriously underestimating my God's sovereignty, but He's been gracious in reminding me that I am always weaker and more loved than I could ever imagine. The cross has a way of speaking my smallness and God's goodness all at once 

The last few months have been characterized by an unusual kind of struggle between my flesh and spirit. Between a relentless desire to control my life and a relentless savior who has better things for me. The months leading up to graduation (and the proposal) have been marked by a dark sense of fear and deep sense of joy, so I've felt petrified on my worst days and wobbly on my best. My plans to stay in Texas and pursue a comfortable career near my family and friends have gone out the window, but I have chosen adventure in the state of Kentucky with my best friend. Falling to fear is the easy, obvious choice to make, but I have the freedom to press into the gospel instead. Fear has no hold on my heart because it's been paid for in full by the blood of Christ.

Second only to the realization that I am deeply loved and chosen by a holy God, being deeply loved and chosen by another human being is the strangest and most terrifying thing that's ever happened to me. In this season of engagement, I've been awestruck at the endless threads that weave the unfathomable love between Christ and His bride within the covenant of marriage. It's intimidating to realize that Keller and I are running headfirst into this new ministry of marriage, but exhilarating to realize what responsibility we've been given in protecting something so precious. I'm convinced that there is truly nothing sweeter on earth than Christ-centered and gospel-driven love between two believers, but learning to trust this has been anything but easy. We're two sinners after all, and our sin drives us to the end of ourselves until we reach out for the help that only Jesus can give. We are learning to reach more quickly and to hold our plans more loosely.

So we wobble back and forth during engagement and remind ourselves and one another of the character of Christ, which is anything but wobbly. We lean into the cross and press ahead because our God goes before us. Into Kentucky, into job interviews, into a new season of marriage. He weaves us in, before and behind.

Love,
Katie